Friday, April 2, 2010

Love, Sex, Virginity

OOOOO, sensitive issue~ =P

Had been exposed with a lot of all these experiences recently. There are a lot of struggle between these 3 things. She loves him, he loves her but at the same time he wants sex too, and the first thing that may come into her mind - her virginity? Sometimes I really wonder, how important is virginity, for a girl of course, guys seldom care, I guess? LOL. No offense anyway... ^^

Some may feel that virginity is not an important issue anymore, come on, it's 21st century now, you are not living in those years when girls depend on guys to survive. Girls can live on themselves, being a playgirl and at the same time, excel in anything and everything. Also, since girls need to accept the fact that their boyfriend had sex with their ex, why can't guys accept that they are no longer a virgin? But, when it comes to parents, not all are so open minded. I had some friends whose parents are really open minded when they do not even mind getting a grandchild now... LOL.

I did get some answers to the question from some guys. For them, when a girl is still a virgin, they tends to cherish and treasure them more. They will feel that, "Awww, my girl is still a virgin, so I must not take advantages on her." Basically, this is also because they have a big responsibility to bear. They do not know how will girls feel after virginity is lost. Some girls might feel just normal and like "Who cares, its just virginity, not that I am pregnant~"; Some might feel guilty, feel bad for many reasons, like family or future boyfriend or husband. Some girls might even start to exert pressure on them, hoping that they will take up the responsibility to take care of them, especially for those girls who just want to get married not thinking about their future. The last 2 are some of the risks that guys will not have the courage to take, especially for those who are mentally not prepared and immature.

If there are some guys who do not even bother about this, sweet talks come into play. Perhaps something like, "I will be with you forever", "I will do everything you want for you", "I want to make you mine", "I want both of us to have a really good moment before we have less time for each other" etc. Some might even force the girl, "I will break up with you if you don't want it", "You do not love me", bla bla bla... All these craps can be really useful esp when the girl is so in love, the ultimate weak point of girls. (But actually, not only guys can do so, girls too... LOL)

If the girl is no more a virgin, then guys will have less worries. They will tend to take things for granted, thinking, "Since she is no more a virgin, I can have sex with her anytime, no responsibility needed (as long as its safe sex), 'cos I am not the one who took her virginity away." Not only guys, girls will think that way too, when they do not need to worry about their virginity anymore. Its really contradicting sometimes...

Then, if the girl rejected the guy, he will feel that the girl does not love him as much, "Why you can have sex with your ex boyfriend, but not me?" kind of thinking will come out again. Should the girl give in to this statement? They lose their virginity, so there is nothing much to bother right? But, what if they are those kind who will feel guilty? Or those who will ask the guy to bear the responsibility, even though he is not the one who took her virginity? LOL.

Things like this never have an answer, really, just depends on how much a guy loves a girl. If he really loves her, he will never care about her past, even if he does, it will not affect his love for the girl. Also, he will respect whatever answer the girl gives, no matter how much he wants it. Okay, may be sometimes guys cannot stand it, but what can you do, she is someone you love, I bet you will never want to hurt her, right? Unless you can be really sure that you will not leave her, and she is 100% confirm your future wife, also you will do everything she wants from you. But, there is no 100% confirmation unless you will be getting married with her the next second. LOL.

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