Friday, May 20, 2011

What is wrong?

Wow... It had been a while since I blog about anything~ Had been too busy with assignments and yea, those normal life, daily routines.

I felt lost lately but I do not dare to tell anyone. There is no one for me to talk to recently since everyone is so busy with exams.

Perhaps, I have been thinking too much, worrying about unnecessary nonsense. I just feel that we had finally ended the so-called "Honeymoon" period. Things are becoming different lately. Everything seems to be so abnormal, even the everyday sweetness do not seems to be there anymore. Still sweet, but the sweet seems to be so not real, you see it, you know it but you just dun feel it, it just do not seem to come from the bottom of the heart.

Distance, really do bring people apart. Just less than a month away from Semenyih, just these short period of time not being able to see each other everyday really do have some effects on relationship. Frankly, I am afraid... I do not know what will happen when I am not there for him when he is down. I still lack of the confidence and security that I really need.

I do not seem to be able to prove my existence in his life. Everything seems to be so not real. Messages used to be an essential part of our relationship, and now, it only seems to be important when there is something urgent that we need to contact each other. Normally a sweet message will have a sweet reply, but now, it had became something so normal, so cold that you cannot believe that it is actually from him.

People do say we are sweet, we are. But the level is different now, the feel is different now. It is just 1 hour away from each other. What will happen when we are 12 hours away and having a 8 hours difference from each other? I cannot imagine. Just hope that we can make it through these 2 to 3 years, manage to sort out this problem in the remaining 3 months time because I really do love him, more than anyone else.

Please do not give up on me please baby. I really hope I can always be in your heart, be the first to know how you feel, be the first to put a smile on your face. I may be stubborn and self-centred, I may have a bad temper, but I really want you. *hugs*