Perhaps, this bomb is like a tilt fuse or a mercury tilt switch,
A force of jerk causes the tilt fuse to tilt more,
And the mercury will slide down,
Closing the electric circuit on the other end of the tube,
Detonating the bomb.
Now, tears act as the fire extinguisher,
Putting out the fire,
Incompletely...
When I search among the debris after the explosion,
I realized that only LOVE survive,
Enduring the small but painful wound,
Feeling of missing him is badly injured,
So does the confident we had...
Luckily, they do survive.
Helping to rebuild everything,
Hope that there will not be such an explosion,
Triggered by some tiny issues anymore
Though its 100% impossible.
Anyway, sorry for tilting the fuse.
我的心也在隐隐作痛着。。。
FYI...
Mercury switches consist of one or more sets of electrical contacts in a sealed glass envelope which contains a bead of mercury. The envelope may also contain air, an inert gas, or a vacuum. Gravity is constantly pulling the drop of mercury to the lowest point in the envelope. When the switch is tilted in the appropriate direction, the mercury touches a set of contacts, thus completing the electrical circuit through those contacts. Tilting the switch the opposite direction causes the mercury to move away from that set of contacts, thus breaking that circuit. (Wikipedia)
I don't know how to describe my feelings now. Nervous? Down? Fear? Fed up? Disappointed? Regretting? I don't know. It's confusing. I can't sort it out and I can't find the source. Maybe there are too many sources...
I am unable to control my temper and the mood is always oscillating between two extremities, just like the whether. It can be a super hot day at this moment and changes into a heavy storm the next second.
Everyone is busy with exams now so just leave them alone and disturb them with my problems after exam. Just focus on exam now and think about all those complicated things later.
I seriously don't know what is wrong with me. When I care for some1, I just want them to follow my way to manage time. I do not like to waste my time and so, I can't stand when I see the people whom I love wasting their time.
I had once irritated some1 I love by controlling him/her too much. I try to get him/her to follow my style and be more serious in studies. I just do not know that this will actually made some1 got mad and tried even harder to go against me.
I tried my best not to comment on others' lifestyle and the way they use to study. I tried to ignore when I see them slacking and doing last minute work or revision. At most, I will just try to advise and not being too harsh.
Too bad, I repeated that mistake again. I am just pathetic. I should not have scolded him/her. It's their habit and if they are fine with it, why do I need to be so kpc and interrupt their lifestyle? But I just beh tahan. They have the brains and just wasted it; they have the time and again, they just let it flow away. GOSH...
Anyway, words said cannot be taken back and I do not want to take it back also, so I can only say SORRY for being soooooo harsh. I will not do that again. Though I feel that a barrier is being build between us now, nothing can be done. My EQ is just too low. Just hope that I wont cross the border line again.
I’d been very down these 2 days. I found out something and some other things happened. My ‘ability’ of thinking too much ‘contributed’ to my feelings too. I just felt unsecure and was wondering whether the same thing will happen to me. The super perfect timing is one of the reasons that make me think and feel that way. The another reason is I started to get serious but still have not fully get away from the extremely stupid thought that had been bothering me for months. I am just pathetic…
I am just too sensitive, even an insignificant incident can trigger my nerve and made me highly alert, thinking of the possible consequences or reasons that cause this. Is it really because I am too sensitive or I just cannot believe in anyone, not even myself? I made the choice and I still doubt whether it is a right choice. I just can’t be 100% sure, never once in my life. I only know that there are 2 distances that need me to overcome, a real distance and a virtual one. (Kambateh, Sophia! =P)
There is another thing that bothers me. Should I join the class trip??? I wanted to join but they will be going to Pulau Paya for snorkeling which I do not feel like going due to some reasons. If I go for the trip and do not join them for the snorkeling part, I may be left alone on Pulau Langkawi. If I do not go for the trip, then I will have no more chance to join them and I had already promised Nich that I will go. Gosh, how am I going to decide???!!!
Anyway, A2 final is finally here. I hope I can finish all the PYQs on time. I am still kinda blur with my FM Mechanics and Geometric Distribution. If I still can’t overcome all these problems, I will need to say Bye Bye to more than 40 marks. OMG… So, must really study hard this time. Can’t slack too much, been telling myself this but I do not think that I studied much these few days. At least, I did not touch my chemistry and physics PYQ these 2 weeks. =P
Good luck to every A-Levels student who will be sitting for exam starting from 13th of May until 12th of June. I wonder how Cambridge arranges the time table… My paper starts on 18th of May and ends on 8th of June, but only 7 days in that period of time are occupied with exams, and yet, they need to put Chem Paper 4 and Phy Paper 4 on the same day. Whatever, I can’t change it, so I can just take it. GOOD LUCK and ALL THE BEST!!!
When you are rich, you can buy everything, including people’s heart.
But, When you have nothing in your pocket, you are nothing?
You may be the king or queen when you are rich but you will have to wear a mask every day, looking for ways to maintain your ‘power’. But I really wonder who will actually respect you from the bottom of their heart. Yea, maybe there are some people who really feel that you are their god and cannot live a day without you but the rest of your ‘slaves’ are just putting on their own mask in front of you.
Speaking of ‘slaves’, you will need to accept a lot of criticism from people around you, who thinks that they are some super close friends with the king and queen. Their criticism may be true and sincere, but most of them were just crap and rubbish. They do not actually process their words with brain before saying it out loud. Can all these people think before they speak? At least learn how to respect others, even if they are not as ‘sacred’ as your king and queen.
The world is just so cruel that the opinions and suggestions of slaves do not worth even a penny. A word to the kings and queens: Do not ask for others’ opinion when you are not going to consider what they suggested. ‘Cos it really hurts. Slaves have feelings too…
I’ve met a lot of kings and queens before, they might not treat you as a slave in front of people, but you are definitely their slave when they do not need your help to show how popular they are. Kings and queens may always show how much they have done for others but who knows how many % of their ‘effort’ origin from their sincere heart, if they have one…
I may be fake in some circumstances but I am pretty confident that I am far from being a queen. Maybe someone will be objecting this statement, but who cares? I am sure that I am almost immune with all these crap that have been bombarding me for years, continuously.
--You may not be important in king’s and queen’s eye, but you are important to someone that knows how to appreciate you. This is more than enough. - -
I am super happy!!! I had been secreting lots of adrenaline on Friday and I had a sleepless night that day. Finally, most of my closest friends in Form 4 and 5 can gather together.
Before the gathering, I went to CHS to meet flor and her bf. (Since Flor can only reach at 9.30am, dear went to CHS to company me. I am touched but Pity him for sleeping much lesser.) Then we waited there so that we can meet Khee during recess. In the meantime, Flor and her bf were complaining that the weather is so darn hot and they were sweating madly. I wonder why I did not sweat that much and I did not really feel hot. Back to main topic, we went to Khee's class during recess and started chatting. We were insulting See Khee and kept on relate her with 'some1'. She became kinda mad and said that she might not go to the gathering. I tried to persuade her and she said that she will reconsider. (T.T All I can do was just sms her non stop to persuade her. I even asked Flor to help.)
After her recess, me, Flor and her bf walked to the bus stop along Federal Highway. Actually, we were supposed to go to Sunway Pyramid by bus but Flor was just too lazy to walk under the hot sun. So, we went to a nearer bus stop and take taxi.(Cost me 3 bucks, luckilly... But bus will only cost me max RM1. Whatever, why am I complaining?) We called Joyce when we reached there since she was the one who asked us to meet her there as early as possible. We were so speechless when we realised that she was still sleeping. So, we had to shop around and I played the role of a light bulb. (Err, actually, Flor kinda neglected her bf as she was talking to me. =P). Then, we went to meet dear in Mr. Teppanyaki since he was having lunch with CH. We chat and watched Mr. Bean's Holiday there. (SWTZ!!!)
Finally, Jye called and told us that he and Nga had already reached. So, we went to Asian Avenue to meet them and I suggested that we just wait for the rest in MFM. We ordered some starters since we were kinda hungry. Then, Joyce called 'cos she could not find a car park. (^^") I called Khee to ask for her decision. She told me that she has not decided and she was still in school. (WTH?????) After a while, she called again and ask where is the gathering. She sounds excited and so, I suspected something is going on. In just 1 min time, I saw her coming down from the escalator... She had already planned to give me a 'surprise' and of course, Flor is the accomplice. Anyway, I am very happy because Khee finally attended our gathering (according to her, she could not find any excuse to reject 'cos I planned everything based on her suggestions and opinions).
Although only 7 person on the gathering (8 including Flor's bf, Hean), we can still chat from 1 til around 5 pm. I can only say that that short period of time is really not enough. We have too many things to talk about, studies, bf/gfs stuffs, recalling the moments we had in CHS etc.
My best pals during high school. Basically, we gossiped everyday. And yes, we were noisy and we are still noisy now. (Btw, Joyce is so pretty and thin now!! =P) Did you realise that all of us are wearing the same colour? We did not plan it. Its pure coincidence.
I really felt that I had gone back to Form 5 when we started to insult each other, talked crap and shared secrets. The feeling is just too great!!! Of course, the guys ie Dek Ric, Jye and Nga were not really shuang when the girls were talking about secrets that we had been sharing for years. I am so sorry guys, but its girl's talk. =p Then, we took a lot of pictures but actually, most of the time, the girls are running all around taking pictures with the guys. I really pity Hean 'cos he did not join us when we took group photo, instead, he became the photographer.
1st row (from left): Dek Ric, Louis Nga, Sophia, See Khee
2nd row (from left): Yinn Jye, Joyce, Florrie
Fyi, we had our gathering in Manhattan Fish Market and its really expensive. 8 of us spent RM236 there and everyone was complaining. I felt a little guilty 'cos I chose that venue but since there were no objections when I asked them, so I am not blaming myself too much. =P However, the food there is quite nice, not to say super nice though, but its really huge. I shared a seafood platter with Nga and Jye, but we could not finish it. That is why Dek Ric was blaming us for ordering that before he reached. I am sorry Dek Ric, but we were just to hungry. =P
Shocked when we see this...
My calculations...
We continued our chatting session in McD since its not really nice to stay in that restaurant for too long and the guys wanted to eat ice-cream. While they were busy chatting, me and Nga were busy calculating the amount of money that each of us need to pay. I can only say that we were super efficient since we can sort out everything in a short while. (Just ss-ing, its super easy to calculate it... ^^")
Then, they compared me and Nga for our efficiency in organizing a gathering. They were complaining that Nga is inefficient 'cos he has been arranging a badminton game, another form of gathering since last year and nothing is carried out. =P Just hope that he can find a time for that soon. I really want to see how Jye play badminton since Joyce described his skills as, err... Don't know how to describe. =P
When they were about to leave, they asked Hon to come out from ice rink 'cos they wanna see him (?!) since they had not seen him for a long time. (swtz...) However, when he reached, Dek Ric had to leave and every1 just left with him since there are some sort of complicated connections between them. =P Felt so sorry for dear and Khee kept on asking me to say sorry to dear.
After they left, i accompanied Khee for a short while until she chased me away and asked me to go find Hon. She said that she wanted to shop for something and that 'something' turned out to be my b'day present. OMG, its like 3 months before my b'day but still I am super touched 'cos she still remembers my b'day!!! Thank you Khee!!!
So, I went to meet dear and just shopped around Sunway Pyramid. But, No details for our date. =P Its just super sweet and according to dear, its our best date ever (totally agree, even though we did nothing much...) Btw, my dad was supposed to fetch me from pyramid at 9 and he has the habit of fetching me later than the time he told me. However, he was early that day!!! (WTH?!) Its like 2 months or 50+ days to be more exact before I can see dear again. Hmmm, nevermind, time flies, 2 months will pass very quickly. (But hope that I have enough time to revise.)
Thank you dear, for giving me a very sweet 4-5 hrs date!!!
