Friday, July 2, 2010


Nobody is perfect and hence you can never find someone who is totally fulfill the criteria of a perfect partner. There is something that you will need to try to accept for you to get something else that you want. Is the thing that you want worth you accepting something that you will not accept? In other words, is the person worth your love?

Maybe, people will say that love is love, there is nothing about worth it or not. Love him and you should not be calculating too much. Love is not a mathematics question, no calculation should be involved, there is nothing about who sacrifice more and hence deserve more love. Its only about TOLERATING and how to make the relationship work in a two-way manners. It is just like crossing a bridge where only one person can go across at a time. If you do not want to tolerate and let the other person cross first, neither of you can cross. The bridge will eventually break due to the pressure and weight, and now, nobody can go through. You may feel that why should you be that noble and be the one who tolerate, but remember, he or she might be tolerating too, it is only you did not realise. Even some small things like letting you choose what you want to have for dinner is a kind of tolerating, though you may think that he or she cannot make up his own mind. This is because they know that there is nothing much they can do to make you happy, and since tolerating you and let you choose they things you like can make you smile, they will do it.

Someone says, Love is Blind. Even you did not accept, but because you love the person, you tend to focus on your love and ignore the other issues that you can neither tolerate or accept. But, in a long term, when both of you gets closer and there is not much fear of losing each other, problems will come. At this moment, I guess what comes into play is not only tolerating, but also RESPECT. Respect each others' choice and decision they made for their life. You can go into their life, but not interrupt their life. You might be important in their life, but you are not the only one present. There are many other parties that they will need to take into account, like friends. And if the person is willing to tolerate, even not until the extend you expected or hope, it is already enough and worth you respecting. What more if their words are kept and what you said are remembered. Moreover, if you already know in the beginning that complaining will not make much difference, why not you try respecting? Respect does not mean support. It is just like two rough surfaces, you know you cannot remove the friction unless you make the surfaces extremely smooth. If making the surface smooth is impossible, why not add a lubricant? It will not remove all the friction, but at least some.

Perhaps, many including me may think that in the beginning of a relationship, everyone can make a lot of promises and tolerate a lot, but this will fade with time. They tend to not remember what they said, expecting you to tolerate and understand. For some, I think is because they really take things for granted since they are immature. There are also some people who knows that there is something that is being built with time, TRUST. They trust each other and know deep down in the heart that they know whatever they are doing, the another half will understand. Sometimes, this may be a good thing, provided they do not take this trust for granted and starting to betray their partner. Time can prove everything, its only whether the truth is the one you wanna see or the one that hurt you to the maximum. But, it is just part of your life and at least, you know the truth. You can know that whether your insecure feelings are merely because you do not have enough confidence in yourself and your partner or really because your partner do not worth your trust.

Everyone hurt a lot of people in their life and everyone is hurt by many people too. Phobia will be developed, heart will have cracks here and there. However, you learned lessons which you can't find on any books. I know this sounds so much like the line we always write in our essays back in primary or secondary school, but yea, you learned something which you will remember for your life because you were once very down but you stood up again. I can only say that your next one will be slightly more lucky because you learned your mistake in the past relationship and hence, will try not to repeat it. Also, you will learn how to look from other people's point of view and try to UNDERSTAND why they have such decision. You will be mad, you will be disappointed, but when you make an effort to understand, you will know that you should not be angry over anything and blame anyone for that because sometimes they do not mean to make the decision or the decision might be the best for them at the moment. (sorry for stealing some1's line~ =P).

Lastly, Love with you HEART. Your heart can feel things that you may not be able to see or hear. Your mind might be affected by the words others say, be it offending or so sweet that melts you, but your heart is always the one who tell you what exactly you feel.

If you still want maths:

Love = Tolerating + Respect + Understanding + Trust + Heart

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