Thursday, May 20, 2010

Think more~ ?

Sometimes, I really wonder, what is the use of thinking too much. Thinking too much makes a small problem worse, giving you even more things to think, to make your life miserable.

Think before you make a decision. It's true but this will not guarantee you a 100% right decision, 'cos there is no perfect choice. When you make a choice, you must sacrifice something. My dad was thinking that studying medicine takes a long time and it's stressful, and he had been thinking about this since I wanted to study medicine. So yea, he said: "Study actuarial science." So, I took up Further Maths, sacrificing Biology, sacrificing medicine. And after some advices from his friends who are sort of actuarial scientist, he thinks a lot again... K, Go for Pharmacy. Bla bla bla said this is good. Ok, I love Medicine, I love science, so OK. Now, seeing me so stressed out with studies and more with friendships, he is thinking again, "Did I make a wrong choice?". Sometimes, I thought of that too. Did I make a wrong choice studying Pharmacy, giving up medicine? But, really, after a year, I stop thinking about that anymore (maybe sometimes I will...), 'cos:

1) Can I regret now? Can I afford to waste another year?
2) Medicine and Pharmacy, what is the difference? Both are life savior, both are health-related, so WHY REGRET?
3) Friends... You can meet friends anywhere and everywhere. Maybe you can find this really close friend in this semester, but the next semester, you all are just strangers. If you guys are meant to be stick to each other then you will, so why stress yourself over it?
4) Stress... Lame, which course do not have stress? Stress motivates people, so yea, it's a good thing, though I might get some white hairs before I turn 50. LOL. I am getting a few already. T.T

Also, I had been thinking for 4 years, before I started my very first relationship. When he first confessed, I think think and think and NO. Second time, I confessed after hell long of thinking. So what? Thinking does not help when you did not actually know that person. Not that he is bad, just not the suitable one. Thinking a lot might sometimes help you fake some hopes. Also, thinking too much is the killer of a relationship. Before actually getting very close, you had been thinking about the future. This is not a bad thing, just, if your another half is not into future planning and you both are not even in a very stable relationship or confirm that you are getting married the next day, why think so much? Enjoy~! (This is for some1 close who is in love right now, and hope the relationship can be more sweet~ Hope the guy reads this... =P)

I admit that I think a lot during the first relationship, thinking that "Oh, I am matured and you are not, so perhaps, I shall think for your part." LOL. This is freaking lame thinking back. A person should not be controlled on how he should live his life. Come on, it's HIS life, not yours. Fine if you want your life to be as perfect as possible, if he does not like it, just accept the fact and tolerate or just shut up and Buh-Bye~ What for thinking so much about you n him? Care for yourself before you want to take over his life. The thing that one should really think is, "Does he actually want you to look after his life?", not "What can I do to control him from doing this and that and ohya, making him more mature so that he is able to be accepted by my family?". I mean, that is what I learned from 1st ex, not to think about forcing someone to be like you and think like you. Not forcing any1 to agree with it, you have your own way of thinking, just like I never accept what my friends told me. Haha. But.......

But, I am still having this stupid-and-driving-me-crazy problem which is phobia in relationship. Any relationship. Can be friendship, colleagues and bgfs relationships. I tend to suspect someone trying to frame me, try not to believe in others, try to figure out hundreds and thousands of possibilities after someone did something good to me. I will think that someone might be having bad intentions, trying to get me in trouble if I become real close to a person. That's why I always fail in any relationships. Summary: I THINK TOO MUCH! ARGH~!

Sometimes, it is not that I do not want to be in a relationship, not that I am tired with all those freedom that I might lose (perhaps a lil, since I am really having a great great time now), I am just tired of persuading myself not to think too much. Contradicting huh? Yea, the above thinking are ideal thinking. NOT THAT EASY! Maybe some of you feel like killing me now~ =P I am really trying ma... It had only been 2 months plus since I broke up le... I am trying not to think too much so that I won't burden my love ones, I won't hurt them and most importantly, I wont hurt myself~

When I think too much, also include too much of those girl's fantasy, get what I mean? Like those prince who is so perfect coming for princess (not implying that I am a princess~ =P) and they live happily ever after type or those Manga love stories where the guy treats the girl super duper well as if he is her servant, getting her anything she wants, satisfying all she needs and still manage to get together forever. These non-reality stories are so sweet and most importantly, it never ever exist, at least not on me, whom everyone thinks that is STRONG. So, stop those sweet dramas like erm, 蔷薇之恋,恶作剧之吻 etc, in which some really perfect n nice guy falls for some one really normal, and I shall stop reading Manga in which those super romantic scenes can actually happen. Then I will stop thinking too much, hoping too much, and I shall love happily ever after.

And lastly, I LOVE MY FRIENDS~! I miss all of you, I miss gatherings, I miss outing, I miss chatting, I miss cam-whoring, I miss mahjong, I miss sing k, I miss movies, I miss hugging, I miss holding hands, I miss saying I MISS YOU! Muacks to all my dears and darlings~ Love you! ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ (Lots of Love~)

And erm, what's the main point of this post again? And ya, Why am I blogging here when I have exam on Monday which I still have tonnes to read? =P Perhaps, need some place to release stress after burning so many marks due to overconfidence and careless. Something that I had been memorizing since the day I started preparing, some structures that I had been seeing over and over again in PEP, and yet, still make mistake. Am I dumb or what? LOL.

Not really related to the post except for the song title: 想太多(Thinks too much~) Nice song~ Let's go Karaoke!


  1. don't regret. the paths you've taken so far, though may be the wrong ones, they just make you stronger. =)

    pia.. i damn miss u T_T

    n btw, i deactivated my FB account for the moment >.<

    lastly, all the best in your exam!! =D

    see you REAL SOON! muacks!

  2. Yup~ ^^ Thx o Darl~

    I miss you oso ar. Less than 1 month~ Yes!!!

    OMG... I feel so bad for FB-ing everyday d... LOL.

    Thx! You oso o~!