I know I am not some one who can be right beside you when you really need me,
I know I am not some one who can give you the right advise you need,
I know I am not some one who can give you everything you want,
I know I am not some one who can accept everything that you do,
But...
I only know that I am always there to support you because I love you.
The love...
Might not be that deep now
Might not cure everything
Might not make us forget about everything that bother us
Might not allow us to do anything we want
But...
Because of this love,
There will always be some one for us to turn to when we are sad
There will always be some one for us to share our happiness with
There will always be some one for us to hug when we need some warmth
There will always be some one for us to throw our temper when we are mad
There will always be some one for us to say... I LOVE YOU.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Random
我明白，也很了解为什么身边的人都那么好奇。认识我的人会觉得，怎么我变了。是要报复吗？还是就这么害怕寂寞？其实，听了这些真的会不开心. 虽然我无法控制别人对我的选择做出的评语，但我希望我身边爱我的人和我爱的人都会支持我，就算不支持，也不应该这么说。
我曾经挣扎过，因为我知道真的会很难被认同。我也曾经想过，就算了吧，放弃了，别再想，但。。。这种事情，那一种感觉，不是说放就放的。就算你再怎么想逃避，欺骗自己，到最后受折磨的还是自己。更何况，缘分真的不是我可以控制的，感觉也好，爱也好，都不能像病了那样，吃几颗药丸就可以消失得无影无踪的。
我没说过我不在意，我很在意啊，认识我的人都知道，我比谁都在意那种习惯。也许身边并不是每个人都有那个习惯，只是有谁能保证今天的他并不是那样的人，他永远就不会是呢？也许明天，他会多了一个你很在意的坏习惯，难道，你就要放弃你爱着的那个他吗？也许吧，会试着慢慢说服他，让他戒掉那一个坏习惯，只是有些事情并没有那么容易。戒掉一些坏习惯，跟试着改变一个人的想法其实是一样的。以前，大家都会劝我，别试着改变一个人，因为你爱的不就是原来的那个他吗？只是为什么现在，大家又会劝我甚至逼我呢？我知道，那是为了双方好，只是，这会把一段感情弄得一塌糊涂吧。
我只想说，现在的我很快乐，很满足。事情总不能十全十美，一段感情总会有许多反对的声音，我知道，这都是为我好的。大家总会说，你很好，身边的不该是他，不该是这样的他。我曾经，因为这些声音，弄垮了一些事情，试着不要辜负身边每个人对我的选择的期望。只是，这样好辛苦，要找到门当户对又爱着你的人，不就是在追求完美吗？我只希望，身边的那个他，爱着我，今所能满足我，尊敬我，保护我，却不会束缚着我。
如果两个人的生活一定要紧紧系在一起的话，那倒不如马上步入礼堂，结婚算了。现在的我觉得，谈恋爱，还是必须让对方有自己的空间，自己的生活，互不干涉，却不会背叛对方，那不是很好吗？说出这句话时，被朋友说了一顿，说：“这算谈恋爱吗？”。那么如果干涉后，问题会像滚雪球般，越闹越大时，那样才算在恋爱吗？与其说我是在懦弱的回避，倒不如说我在给予他一定的信任，让他对自己的生活负责。更何况，在我还没有完全能够主宰一个人的人生前，我凭什么主宰另一个人的人生呢？
也许以后有专业知识时，才慢慢提倡健康意识吧~ =p
我曾经挣扎过，因为我知道真的会很难被认同。我也曾经想过，就算了吧，放弃了，别再想，但。。。这种事情，那一种感觉，不是说放就放的。就算你再怎么想逃避，欺骗自己，到最后受折磨的还是自己。更何况，缘分真的不是我可以控制的，感觉也好，爱也好，都不能像病了那样，吃几颗药丸就可以消失得无影无踪的。
我没说过我不在意，我很在意啊，认识我的人都知道，我比谁都在意那种习惯。也许身边并不是每个人都有那个习惯，只是有谁能保证今天的他并不是那样的人，他永远就不会是呢？也许明天，他会多了一个你很在意的坏习惯，难道，你就要放弃你爱着的那个他吗？也许吧，会试着慢慢说服他，让他戒掉那一个坏习惯，只是有些事情并没有那么容易。戒掉一些坏习惯，跟试着改变一个人的想法其实是一样的。以前，大家都会劝我，别试着改变一个人，因为你爱的不就是原来的那个他吗？只是为什么现在，大家又会劝我甚至逼我呢？我知道，那是为了双方好，只是，这会把一段感情弄得一塌糊涂吧。
我只想说，现在的我很快乐，很满足。事情总不能十全十美，一段感情总会有许多反对的声音，我知道，这都是为我好的。大家总会说，你很好，身边的不该是他，不该是这样的他。我曾经，因为这些声音，弄垮了一些事情，试着不要辜负身边每个人对我的选择的期望。只是，这样好辛苦，要找到门当户对又爱着你的人，不就是在追求完美吗？我只希望，身边的那个他，爱着我，今所能满足我，尊敬我，保护我，却不会束缚着我。
如果两个人的生活一定要紧紧系在一起的话，那倒不如马上步入礼堂，结婚算了。现在的我觉得，谈恋爱，还是必须让对方有自己的空间，自己的生活，互不干涉，却不会背叛对方，那不是很好吗？说出这句话时，被朋友说了一顿，说：“这算谈恋爱吗？”。那么如果干涉后，问题会像滚雪球般，越闹越大时，那样才算在恋爱吗？与其说我是在懦弱的回避，倒不如说我在给予他一定的信任，让他对自己的生活负责。更何况，在我还没有完全能够主宰一个人的人生前，我凭什么主宰另一个人的人生呢？
也许以后有专业知识时，才慢慢提倡健康意识吧~ =p
Thursday, May 27, 2010
The 2nd Surprise- Hero
Someone told me...
And now, though it seems to be unbelievable... For I said I do not want to get into a relationship this early... I am, with him now~ With the person who was so silly, calling me out for supper in the middle of the night, making me losing my sleep and ended up in Broga Hill; driving up from USJ to Semenyih and bring me to McD for Ice-cream; making me into his alarm clock and made me feel guilty for waking him up; satisfying my every crave for food and willingly becoming my Ogawa~
Shaun~ My silly boyfriend!
Mr.Great will make sure you are happy everyday because seeing you happy is my happiness. I will also make sure you do not use the word 'force to' anymore...I do not know since when, there will always be a smile on my face when I am reading messages, there is a name that I will mention to my parents every time I talked to them, there is a person that I will always think about, there is a person whom I always talk to when I am down.
And now, though it seems to be unbelievable... For I said I do not want to get into a relationship this early... I am, with him now~ With the person who was so silly, calling me out for supper in the middle of the night, making me losing my sleep and ended up in Broga Hill; driving up from USJ to Semenyih and bring me to McD for Ice-cream; making me into his alarm clock and made me feel guilty for waking him up; satisfying my every crave for food and willingly becoming my Ogawa~
Shaun~ My silly boyfriend!Hope this silly will continue to bring smile on my face and make my every day a happy day~! Love you~!
*p/s: Silly, I love your cute cute smile too! So, this tomato will try all her best to make sure you are happy too!
*p/s: Silly, I love your cute cute smile too! So, this tomato will try all her best to make sure you are happy too!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Life after Exam (1)
Finally done with my Year 1 final exam~! A super duper happy week~ More activities to come! I will not talk much here, so this post will be full of photos. ^^
22nd May 2010: Surky's Birthday
Happy Birthday~
Yam Cake, nice~
Red Wine
My new husband? Wife? Nah, aunt la~ So sweet~ =P
OMG! I am such a drinker?! N my cousin is under 18!!! SO... The bottles are empty~ =P
Erm... The bread?
The waiter of the day~! Also thx to him, we have the invitation~ I think this dinner is kinda like their assignment.
My Mocktail~ ( Pineapple + Orange + Raspberry + Ginger Beer)
Roasted Chicken~
He is preparing dessert! So cool! This is to prepare the caramel i guess?
The 3 sing-til-very-high-girls~
He is making a super long wish la~!!!
Wish 1: I wanna do well in all the papers.
Wish 2: I wanna be super handsome. *ss*
Wish 3: SECRET~! Shhhh...
I chose the blueberry cheesecake! I am a genius la, the cake is so nice!
Me n Bday boy~
22nd May 2010: Surky's Birthday
Happy Birthday~
Yam Cake, nice~
Red Wine
My new husband? Wife? Nah, aunt la~ So sweet~ =P
OMG! I am such a drinker?! N my cousin is under 18!!! SO... The bottles are empty~ =P25th May 2010: Truffles @ Taylor's Lakeside Campus
Thx for the invitation from Kevin! A really nice fine dining experience~ Felt like Hell's Kitchen though. Haha. The campus is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.! Why can't Nottingham be something like this!!! ><
Thx for the invitation from Kevin! A really nice fine dining experience~ Felt like Hell's Kitchen though. Haha. The campus is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.! Why can't Nottingham be something like this!!! ><
Erm... The bread?
The waiter of the day~! Also thx to him, we have the invitation~ I think this dinner is kinda like their assignment.
My Mocktail~ ( Pineapple + Orange + Raspberry + Ginger Beer)
Roasted Chicken~
He is preparing dessert! So cool! This is to prepare the caramel i guess?25th May 2010: Redbox
Shopping and sing k with Melissa, Jacinda and Shaun~ 2 surprises on that day! =P
Shopping and sing k with Melissa, Jacinda and Shaun~ 2 surprises on that day! =P
The 3 sing-til-very-high-girls~And, *tada* Surprise No.1: Happy Early Birthday Shaun Lim Han Shun!
He is making a super long wish la~!!!
Wish 1: I wanna do well in all the papers.
Wish 2: I wanna be super handsome. *ss*
Wish 3: SECRET~! Shhhh...
I chose the blueberry cheesecake! I am a genius la, the cake is so nice!
Me n Bday boy~So, what is the 2nd surprise? =P Secret! Perhaps will be up in next post? Lalalala~ ^^
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Think more~ ?
Sometimes, I really wonder, what is the use of thinking too much. Thinking too much makes a small problem worse, giving you even more things to think, to make your life miserable.
Think before you make a decision. It's true but this will not guarantee you a 100% right decision, 'cos there is no perfect choice. When you make a choice, you must sacrifice something. My dad was thinking that studying medicine takes a long time and it's stressful, and he had been thinking about this since I wanted to study medicine. So yea, he said: "Study actuarial science." So, I took up Further Maths, sacrificing Biology, sacrificing medicine. And after some advices from his friends who are sort of actuarial scientist, he thinks a lot again... K, Go for Pharmacy. Bla bla bla said this is good. Ok, I love Medicine, I love science, so OK. Now, seeing me so stressed out with studies and more with friendships, he is thinking again, "Did I make a wrong choice?". Sometimes, I thought of that too. Did I make a wrong choice studying Pharmacy, giving up medicine? But, really, after a year, I stop thinking about that anymore (maybe sometimes I will...), 'cos:
1) Can I regret now? Can I afford to waste another year?
2) Medicine and Pharmacy, what is the difference? Both are life savior, both are health-related, so WHY REGRET?
3) Friends... You can meet friends anywhere and everywhere. Maybe you can find this really close friend in this semester, but the next semester, you all are just strangers. If you guys are meant to be stick to each other then you will, so why stress yourself over it?
4) Stress... Lame, which course do not have stress? Stress motivates people, so yea, it's a good thing, though I might get some white hairs before I turn 50. LOL. I am getting a few already. T.T
Also, I had been thinking for 4 years, before I started my very first relationship. When he first confessed, I think think and think and NO. Second time, I confessed after hell long of thinking. So what? Thinking does not help when you did not actually know that person. Not that he is bad, just not the suitable one. Thinking a lot might sometimes help you fake some hopes. Also, thinking too much is the killer of a relationship. Before actually getting very close, you had been thinking about the future. This is not a bad thing, just, if your another half is not into future planning and you both are not even in a very stable relationship or confirm that you are getting married the next day, why think so much? Enjoy~! (This is for some1 close who is in love right now, and hope the relationship can be more sweet~ Hope the guy reads this... =P)
I admit that I think a lot during the first relationship, thinking that "Oh, I am matured and you are not, so perhaps, I shall think for your part." LOL. This is freaking lame thinking back. A person should not be controlled on how he should live his life. Come on, it's HIS life, not yours. Fine if you want your life to be as perfect as possible, if he does not like it, just accept the fact and tolerate or just shut up and Buh-Bye~ What for thinking so much about you n him? Care for yourself before you want to take over his life. The thing that one should really think is, "Does he actually want you to look after his life?", not "What can I do to control him from doing this and that and ohya, making him more mature so that he is able to be accepted by my family?". I mean, that is what I learned from 1st ex, not to think about forcing someone to be like you and think like you. Not forcing any1 to agree with it, you have your own way of thinking, just like I never accept what my friends told me. Haha. But.......
But, I am still having this stupid-and-driving-me-crazy problem which is phobia in relationship. Any relationship. Can be friendship, colleagues and bgfs relationships. I tend to suspect someone trying to frame me, try not to believe in others, try to figure out hundreds and thousands of possibilities after someone did something good to me. I will think that someone might be having bad intentions, trying to get me in trouble if I become real close to a person. That's why I always fail in any relationships. Summary: I THINK TOO MUCH! ARGH~!
Sometimes, it is not that I do not want to be in a relationship, not that I am tired with all those freedom that I might lose (perhaps a lil, since I am really having a great great time now), I am just tired of persuading myself not to think too much. Contradicting huh? Yea, the above thinking are ideal thinking. NOT THAT EASY! Maybe some of you feel like killing me now~ =P I am really trying ma... It had only been 2 months plus since I broke up le... I am trying not to think too much so that I won't burden my love ones, I won't hurt them and most importantly, I wont hurt myself~
When I think too much, also include too much of those girl's fantasy, get what I mean? Like those prince who is so perfect coming for princess (not implying that I am a princess~ =P) and they live happily ever after type or those Manga love stories where the guy treats the girl super duper well as if he is her servant, getting her anything she wants, satisfying all she needs and still manage to get together forever. These non-reality stories are so sweet and most importantly, it never ever exist, at least not on me, whom everyone thinks that is STRONG. So, stop those sweet dramas like erm, 蔷薇之恋，恶作剧之吻 etc, in which some really perfect n nice guy falls for some one really normal, and I shall stop reading Manga in which those super romantic scenes can actually happen. Then I will stop thinking too much, hoping too much, and I shall love happily ever after.
And lastly, I LOVE MY FRIENDS~! I miss all of you, I miss gatherings, I miss outing, I miss chatting, I miss cam-whoring, I miss mahjong, I miss sing k, I miss movies, I miss hugging, I miss holding hands, I miss saying I MISS YOU! Muacks to all my dears and darlings~ Love you! ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ (Lots of Love~)
And erm, what's the main point of this post again? And ya, Why am I blogging here when I have exam on Monday which I still have tonnes to read? =P Perhaps, need some place to release stress after burning so many marks due to overconfidence and careless. Something that I had been memorizing since the day I started preparing, some structures that I had been seeing over and over again in PEP, and yet, still make mistake. Am I dumb or what? LOL.
Not really related to the post except for the song title: 想太多(Thinks too much~) Nice song~ Let's go Karaoke!
Think before you make a decision. It's true but this will not guarantee you a 100% right decision, 'cos there is no perfect choice. When you make a choice, you must sacrifice something. My dad was thinking that studying medicine takes a long time and it's stressful, and he had been thinking about this since I wanted to study medicine. So yea, he said: "Study actuarial science." So, I took up Further Maths, sacrificing Biology, sacrificing medicine. And after some advices from his friends who are sort of actuarial scientist, he thinks a lot again... K, Go for Pharmacy. Bla bla bla said this is good. Ok, I love Medicine, I love science, so OK. Now, seeing me so stressed out with studies and more with friendships, he is thinking again, "Did I make a wrong choice?". Sometimes, I thought of that too. Did I make a wrong choice studying Pharmacy, giving up medicine? But, really, after a year, I stop thinking about that anymore (maybe sometimes I will...), 'cos:
1) Can I regret now? Can I afford to waste another year?
2) Medicine and Pharmacy, what is the difference? Both are life savior, both are health-related, so WHY REGRET?
3) Friends... You can meet friends anywhere and everywhere. Maybe you can find this really close friend in this semester, but the next semester, you all are just strangers. If you guys are meant to be stick to each other then you will, so why stress yourself over it?
4) Stress... Lame, which course do not have stress? Stress motivates people, so yea, it's a good thing, though I might get some white hairs before I turn 50. LOL. I am getting a few already. T.T
Also, I had been thinking for 4 years, before I started my very first relationship. When he first confessed, I think think and think and NO. Second time, I confessed after hell long of thinking. So what? Thinking does not help when you did not actually know that person. Not that he is bad, just not the suitable one. Thinking a lot might sometimes help you fake some hopes. Also, thinking too much is the killer of a relationship. Before actually getting very close, you had been thinking about the future. This is not a bad thing, just, if your another half is not into future planning and you both are not even in a very stable relationship or confirm that you are getting married the next day, why think so much? Enjoy~! (This is for some1 close who is in love right now, and hope the relationship can be more sweet~ Hope the guy reads this... =P)
I admit that I think a lot during the first relationship, thinking that "Oh, I am matured and you are not, so perhaps, I shall think for your part." LOL. This is freaking lame thinking back. A person should not be controlled on how he should live his life. Come on, it's HIS life, not yours. Fine if you want your life to be as perfect as possible, if he does not like it, just accept the fact and tolerate or just shut up and Buh-Bye~ What for thinking so much about you n him? Care for yourself before you want to take over his life. The thing that one should really think is, "Does he actually want you to look after his life?", not "What can I do to control him from doing this and that and ohya, making him more mature so that he is able to be accepted by my family?". I mean, that is what I learned from 1st ex, not to think about forcing someone to be like you and think like you. Not forcing any1 to agree with it, you have your own way of thinking, just like I never accept what my friends told me. Haha. But.......
But, I am still having this stupid-and-driving-me-crazy problem which is phobia in relationship. Any relationship. Can be friendship, colleagues and bgfs relationships. I tend to suspect someone trying to frame me, try not to believe in others, try to figure out hundreds and thousands of possibilities after someone did something good to me. I will think that someone might be having bad intentions, trying to get me in trouble if I become real close to a person. That's why I always fail in any relationships. Summary: I THINK TOO MUCH! ARGH~!
Sometimes, it is not that I do not want to be in a relationship, not that I am tired with all those freedom that I might lose (perhaps a lil, since I am really having a great great time now), I am just tired of persuading myself not to think too much. Contradicting huh? Yea, the above thinking are ideal thinking. NOT THAT EASY! Maybe some of you feel like killing me now~ =P I am really trying ma... It had only been 2 months plus since I broke up le... I am trying not to think too much so that I won't burden my love ones, I won't hurt them and most importantly, I wont hurt myself~
When I think too much, also include too much of those girl's fantasy, get what I mean? Like those prince who is so perfect coming for princess (not implying that I am a princess~ =P) and they live happily ever after type or those Manga love stories where the guy treats the girl super duper well as if he is her servant, getting her anything she wants, satisfying all she needs and still manage to get together forever. These non-reality stories are so sweet and most importantly, it never ever exist, at least not on me, whom everyone thinks that is STRONG. So, stop those sweet dramas like erm, 蔷薇之恋，恶作剧之吻 etc, in which some really perfect n nice guy falls for some one really normal, and I shall stop reading Manga in which those super romantic scenes can actually happen. Then I will stop thinking too much, hoping too much, and I shall love happily ever after.
And lastly, I LOVE MY FRIENDS~! I miss all of you, I miss gatherings, I miss outing, I miss chatting, I miss cam-whoring, I miss mahjong, I miss sing k, I miss movies, I miss hugging, I miss holding hands, I miss saying I MISS YOU! Muacks to all my dears and darlings~ Love you! ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ღ (Lots of Love~)
And erm, what's the main point of this post again? And ya, Why am I blogging here when I have exam on Monday which I still have tonnes to read? =P Perhaps, need some place to release stress after burning so many marks due to overconfidence and careless. Something that I had been memorizing since the day I started preparing, some structures that I had been seeing over and over again in PEP, and yet, still make mistake. Am I dumb or what? LOL.
Not really related to the post except for the song title: 想太多(Thinks too much~) Nice song~ Let's go Karaoke!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
我是幸福的
有时候，真的不知道自己想要的是什么。
明明觉得已经放下的，却好像还没放开手。
明明觉得已经可以释怀的，却发现好像还恨着。
明明觉得不可能的，却忽然觉得有一丝丝的感觉，一点点的希望。
明明觉得有可能的，却忽然发现只是一种错觉，根本就没有那种感觉。
现在的头脑真的像是打了死结，怎么都解不开。
也许真的该剪了那个结，什么都不去想，时间到了再好好整理思绪，重新出发。
其实，只想被一个爱我的人好好地爱着，明白我想要的是什么。
也想被一个人宠爱着，疼爱着，没有束缚， 因为可以彼此信任。
但是，真的很难。
其实现在也不错，看着身边的人一个一个幸福起来，自己也会不自觉地笑了。
也许，幸福不一定是要自己拥有的，别人拥有的幸福也会感染身边的人。
所以，幸福的人请继续幸福，因为，看到你们幸福，我才是最幸福的人。^^
明明觉得已经放下的，却好像还没放开手。
明明觉得已经可以释怀的，却发现好像还恨着。
明明觉得不可能的，却忽然觉得有一丝丝的感觉，一点点的希望。
明明觉得有可能的，却忽然发现只是一种错觉，根本就没有那种感觉。
现在的头脑真的像是打了死结，怎么都解不开。
也许真的该剪了那个结，什么都不去想，时间到了再好好整理思绪，重新出发。
其实，只想被一个爱我的人好好地爱着，明白我想要的是什么。
也想被一个人宠爱着，疼爱着，没有束缚， 因为可以彼此信任。
但是，真的很难。
其实现在也不错，看着身边的人一个一个幸福起来，自己也会不自觉地笑了。
也许，幸福不一定是要自己拥有的，别人拥有的幸福也会感染身边的人。
所以，幸福的人请继续幸福，因为，看到你们幸福，我才是最幸福的人。^^
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Destress Time~!
When you are totally stress up with all the upcoming exams and hypnotizing notes, here are some suggestions to destress~ :
1. Hang out with close friends for a movie eg. Iron Man 2 and have really nice food such as Tony Romas. ^^
2. Go Shopping and try out different clothes (I seriously "love" Voir's Member's day 'cos I spent RM 250) and... Cam whoring~ =P
3. Going to some really nice places like your uncle's new condo which looks like a resort with super big swimming pool and Japanese-style design. =0
4. Have dinner with your family while taking photos for your lil cousins who are already almost your height...
5. Lastly, cam-whoring day and night!!!
This is how I spent my 1st week of study week~! The second week of study week... Will be spent in exactly the same way? ^^ At least, will be having Swensens' Earthquake on Tuesday, 50% discount on the huge 8-scoops-gigantic ice-cream~ I love Tuesday! I don't like Wednesday because 1st paper, B31A08 aka Pharmaceutics is on 12th of May, Wednesday! OMG!!!
1. Hang out with close friends for a movie eg. Iron Man 2 and have really nice food such as Tony Romas. ^^
2. Go Shopping and try out different clothes (I seriously "love" Voir's Member's day 'cos I spent RM 250) and... Cam whoring~ =P
3. Going to some really nice places like your uncle's new condo which looks like a resort with super big swimming pool and Japanese-style design. =0
4. Have dinner with your family while taking photos for your lil cousins who are already almost your height...
5. Lastly, cam-whoring day and night!!!
This is how I spent my 1st week of study week~! The second week of study week... Will be spent in exactly the same way? ^^ At least, will be having Swensens' Earthquake on Tuesday, 50% discount on the huge 8-scoops-gigantic ice-cream~ I love Tuesday! I don't like Wednesday because 1st paper, B31A08 aka Pharmaceutics is on 12th of May, Wednesday! OMG!!!
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